Not Quite Enough

Inadequate. Deficient. In short supply. Boy, I wish I could tell you all the times I’ve felt not quite enough. After being ghosted and passed over time and time again, inadequacy is a feeling I can’t quite shake. I’ve been reflecting on my recent move to Seattle, which made me think about my move to Virginia. 2020 was, as many would agree, not a great year. I was let go from a job I loved and with that job went connections I made there that I thought would last a lifetime. I thought I was past the point of feeling small due to someone else’s actions. But I’m ringing a bell that doesn’t need to ring yet. Where was I? Yes, not quite enough.

I’ve realized we are only not enough when we try to live up to someone else’s idea of what enough is. I say this with my chest because I know it’s true, but my mind still flutters around the what-ifs. What if you don’t like what you’re reading? What if prospective employers don’t think my grammar is “excellent” enough. What if everything I’ve worked on just doesn’t cut it? My mind twirls around these fears with ease. These thoughts dance but eventually fall on this one resolute idea: If I can be enough for myself, I can and will be more than enough for others. Tell yourself this the next time you feel inadequate, deficient, in short supply, just not quite enough.

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